607/1038 - Gooseberry butter (but with raspberries)

This treat was made especially for a dear friend of mine. We have been close for more than 25 years and we have that kind of wonderful friendship that does not change, no matter how much time we spend apart. He is quite simply one of my favourite people in the world and so when I found out he loved raspberry, I just had to find a recipe that would fill my macarons and satisfy his penchant for this fabulous fruit. 

I feel some guilt for switching the fruit in this recipe but have decided that if I ever want to finish this challenge I need to make substitutions for ingredients which are difficult to find. This was a difficult mental hurdle for me to get over but now that I have decided that messing around with main ingredients is not the end of the world, there are more than a few recipes that no longer haunt my thoughts!

There is a reason behind my desire to make this particular friend smile and it is not a good one. While it is true that our friendship has never waned, in some ways it will never be the same as it was. There is a veil of sadness that covers us now when we meet and every day that I do not see him, he is not far from my thoughts. 

The truth is that my friend is not well. In fact we have no idea how much longer he will be able to eat and if I am honest, no idea how much longer he will be with us. My friend is battling the most hideous of all diseases, Motor Neuron Disease. His decline has been rapid and devastating. He still possesses his incredibly dashing good looks, sharp wit and beautiful and wise soul that is largely unmatched. But his body is failing him. He no longer has the full use of his hands and he has been wheelchair bound for some time now. His beautiful singing voice has also been taken from him. I could go on.

...and in this unwinnable situation, I do what I do best; show my love with food.

My tips for this recipe;

• Castor sugar can be substituted for coconut sugar. It is one of my favourite sugars and so I generally do this when possible.

• If you see tiny bits of egg in the mixture when you add it, don't panic! It disappears. Just keep stirring (and stirring, and stirring...)

• I like texture (and hate waste) so didn't bother to strain the mixture. Instead I simply mashed the fruit with a wooden spoon as it broke down.

• Given my example above, it appears that substituting gooseberries with another berry is a viable option.